Feeling Loved

For the last month or so I've been doing a Beth M. study which I love.  I think I wrote about it in an earlier email or newsletter.  It's all about walking by the Spirit and let me tell you, you cannot do it any other way here!  It's either walk by the Spirit or crawl on your own....better yet, you might not even make it out of bed.  One of last weeks lessons was all about really just pouring out your heart to the Father in order for Him to be able to pour into you and so that you can pour forth to the world.  Great concept and oh how that's needed.  The lesson really focused on being completely honest with the Father...like He doesn't already know anyway.  

To be completely honest with Dad....hmmm well, I guess He has given me the freedom to do that, so why not?.  But wait, what if He thinks I'm selfish, what if He's like. "man she complains alot?"  Well doesn't he already know my heart and wouldn't it be better to voice my frustrations rather than keep trying to deceive Him by not telling Him something He already knows.  Kind of like a kid getting caught doing something and then not telling you the truth or over hearing someone tell a friend they are mad but never telling you.....  Okay I get it....so here it goes, honesty and pouring out.     

"Father, Abba.  I bring to you my fears, my thoughts, my worries and anxieties.  I admit L that sometimes I'm frustrated and mad at not being able to talk and G sometimes I just feel real empty and dissatisfied.  Father I'm lonely here and I'm just asking you today to let me know that I am loved.  Abba, I just need to know that I'm worth something and that I'm loved and beautiful.  Help me now Dad to pour out all of my fears and issues to You so that You can fill me up with your Spirit.  All Father so that I may live for your Glory."  Amen. 

Pretty transparent stuff and it's hard to write that for the world to see, but I do it because of the rest of the story. 

So here's the end of my story about being honest with Dad.  I wrote that in my journal before going to bed, the next day I received a package that a friend had sent and among all the stuff in it, was a little slip of paper....the kind you find in fortune cookies (by the way they don't really have those here).  This tiny slip of paper had my lucky numbers on it, a phrase to help learn to speak the language and on the back it said this, " You look great and you know it!". LOL  Now I know that this sounds really silly and well, quite vain, but to me it meant the world.  Then later on I received a response back from an email I had sent earlier with some sound wisdom and encouragement.  At the bottom of the email it said this, "Know that you are loved!".  Hmmmm...."Abba I just need to know I'm worth something and that I'm loved and beautiful."

How did He know?  How did He orchestra a package being sent from a friend with a big heart to think to put a little slip of paper in the bottom of a box?  So that this particular box would arrive on the day after I studied a lesson about being really honest to Him and pouring out your heart to Him?  My selfish, vain heart.  And think about it, how many emails do you get in a day that say, "Know that you are loved!"? How did he know and why did He do all of that for me.....me?  

Simply stated, because He is G!  

Beautiful Feet....and yes they are beautiful!