Nineveh Retraction

So, after being informed by two faithful blog readers, that I needed to reread Jonah, specifically Ch. 4 and after doing so, I thought I needed to write a bit more.

They brought to my attention, that it was not so much that Jonah didn't want to go to Nineveh, it was that he was in fact very prejudice against the people. And, he knew that G would forgive them and he didn't like that. So, I guess my retraction is that I would never want G not to forgive a people:). However, I'll be truthful in saying that some days, I am unwilling to persevere through the culture issues that drive me batty and make me want to hole up in my room for weeks. So, in many ways I'm still a Jonah.

We did just get back from Nineveh, and its still Nineveh. A people unwilling to turn from their sin, furthermore, a people unwilling to even listen. Maybe that's one of the reasons that I don't like going there is because I can't see the hope, can't see the joy. My roommate and I spent the better part of two days pryn' over the city. I often feel like you need to lay that foundation in a city, break down the walls of darkness before the H.S. can come in and overtake the people. Kind of "claim the land" like Abraham. But maybe that's just me...

As we were riding home on the bus last night, I once again had one of those overwhelming feelings of discouragement. The lostness here is so vast. So many people. I was listen to my ipod as we were riding looking around at the people on our bus. A few small kids, a grandma, some old and young men, the driver, and then two funny foreigner girls. I was listening to my friend Tara's CD, when "He Knows My Name," came on. I love that song and it never ceases to make me cry. Especially when Tara sings it. To be really candid, I looked at the people on our bus and I had doubts. Serious doubts. Did He really know their names...would He really see each tear that falls. As we rode by village after village after village, I couldn't help but wonder who would come behind us. Is it even possible to get to all these people before its too late. I know in my heart, we won't get to each one, and that's a pain that is often too great.

In all honesty, thoughts and doubts like those are the tough ones. Those are the days that break your heart. But, those are the same days that you know you can't give up. As much as it hurts, I know that He is sovereign and He does know their names. I also know, as much as I loathe Nineveh, I have to keep going back. Someday, oneday, they will listen.

Beautiful Feet