The children' of Israel had to move on....at some point....

I'm in Bowling Green this week, and I'm waiting around for friends to eat lunch with so I thought I'd blog. Bowling Green always inspires me to blog. I think its just because I have such great memories of living here and spending hours at Panera or Starbucks blogging or working online. I did all my applications for overseas stuff at the local Panera and felt like I had passed an entire class by the time I was finished with them:). If you know me at all, you know that I sincerely have a special place in my heart for BG!

I discovered this week, while in Kentucky, that every time I come up here it makes me sad. Actually Nashville is the same way. I'm learning I need to say goodbye. Since I've been home, I've been up to BG about three times, maybe... I can't remember. I love, love, love the friends and family I have here. But I feel like I never get closure because I keep reopening the door. And, then there is a part of me that feels guilty for leaving these dear people over and over again. So I'm learning what I'm going to have to do. I'm going to keep loving friends, keep in touch, but the trips are going to have to end. For many, they are not going to understand the previous statement, so let me see if I can explain it in a different way.

Let's say when I got ready to go overseas, that I said all my goodbyes, but instead of really disconnecting a bit from America, I decided to take a trip back home a month after I had been in my new country. Then after that, I decided I would take another trip two months later. Now as much as I love traveling, love seeing the ones dear to me, you can imagine that I would not really ever plug into my new home, or even begin to get settled. I'd never fully focus on the tast at hand...and can you imagines all the hellos and goodbyes?! My heart is a bit sad just thinking about that. I'd simply just keep standing in the doorway opening and closing the door, but never exploring the rest of the house. Life and seasons like these are so extremely difficult. I'm just not the type of person that could keep doing that...I"m not good at long distance relationships either. To be honest, I'm sad. I love BG so much and I so want to be here, but for this season, this time, Father isn't calling me back here.

So with a heavy heart and perhaps a tear in my eye, I say goodbye to BG and will officially close the door, so that He can open another one. Doesn't mean I will never come back, doesn't mean I won't still have great conversations with friends and celebrate special times, but it just means that I'm moving on...which even as I write this...is soooo hard. You just can't expect the children of Israel to travel back to the same spot over and over...to not follow Him on would have meant they never got to the promise land. So I have to follow Him.

Today, I'm praying for closure and understanding hearts,

Beautiful Feet