Is it Me or is it You?
I think I expect too much. I always have these really really high expectations for things and its always a bit of a let down because lets face it, life isn't perfect and neither are people. When I first came home from living overseas, I had huge expectations for everything. Holidays, food, driving, etc. and almost everything wasn't as great as I "expected" them to be. I won't go so far as to say it was a let down, but lets just say I forewarn my friends coming back to the states to keep their hopes on the down LOW.
Recently, I've been in multiple social situations where I just have felt excluded. And, I keep wondering...have I done something to exclude myself? Is this because I'm single and maybe people feel they just can't relate? Is this just the way it is? Studies have recently show that we, as humans, in general are becoming more and more isolated. I secretly refuse to believe that but sometimes a girl has to wonder. Could it be that my expectations of people again are unrealistic? I've been home for almost a year (next month) and I don't have a real place where I feel comfortable, with amazing friends and a place to call my niche. Oh i have friends, but they either have moved on to different parts of their lives or we just aren't as close anymore. I often wonder if I'm looked at as that weird M. Being in a small town and what feels like an even smaller circle, I'm often spoken of as the girl who sacrificed so much to be overseas for 2 years. (Its often exaggerated to even 3 years and made to sound like I gave up soooo much, think Lottie Moon). NOT TRUE!! Plus, I don't feel like I've sacrificed anything! I would never in a millions years trade the time Father gave me overseas, but I would for just one minute like to go back to the way life used to be. With close friends and a comfortableness in this place.
Sometimes I think people are just busy with their own families or just genuinely don't think about the others around them. Since I've become aware of the way others make me feel, I've had to ask myself, how many times have I made others feel this way? How many times have a purposely went out of my way to include someone, make them feel at home? Strive to help them along in a new place or stage of life?
I"m ready to be part of where I am, but I have a feeling this transition of my life may last a bit longer....and, I still have to ask the question...is it me or is it you?
Beautiful, still struggling to find her place in this world, Feet
Recently, I've been in multiple social situations where I just have felt excluded. And, I keep wondering...have I done something to exclude myself? Is this because I'm single and maybe people feel they just can't relate? Is this just the way it is? Studies have recently show that we, as humans, in general are becoming more and more isolated. I secretly refuse to believe that but sometimes a girl has to wonder. Could it be that my expectations of people again are unrealistic? I've been home for almost a year (next month) and I don't have a real place where I feel comfortable, with amazing friends and a place to call my niche. Oh i have friends, but they either have moved on to different parts of their lives or we just aren't as close anymore. I often wonder if I'm looked at as that weird M. Being in a small town and what feels like an even smaller circle, I'm often spoken of as the girl who sacrificed so much to be overseas for 2 years. (Its often exaggerated to even 3 years and made to sound like I gave up soooo much, think Lottie Moon). NOT TRUE!! Plus, I don't feel like I've sacrificed anything! I would never in a millions years trade the time Father gave me overseas, but I would for just one minute like to go back to the way life used to be. With close friends and a comfortableness in this place.
Sometimes I think people are just busy with their own families or just genuinely don't think about the others around them. Since I've become aware of the way others make me feel, I've had to ask myself, how many times have I made others feel this way? How many times have a purposely went out of my way to include someone, make them feel at home? Strive to help them along in a new place or stage of life?
I"m ready to be part of where I am, but I have a feeling this transition of my life may last a bit longer....and, I still have to ask the question...is it me or is it you?
Beautiful, still struggling to find her place in this world, Feet
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