Don't get too comfortable
I've been meaning to write for quite sometime now, but I just never sit down and get started. Sometimes writing for me is just too emotional, too tiring. I often wonder how authors have the focus and strength to complete a whole book. If you haven't noticed I'm a short term goal kinda person. Long goals, big visions make me flip out! It was truly the grace of the Father that I somehow decided to go on that long ago two-year journey and actually survived it.
As in true vagabond fashion, these beautiful feet have transitioned again. Back to Bowling Green! I lived in BG for almost two years before moving overseas and have finally returned. I thought long and hard about circling back around. Same place, same people, same church...on and on I could go. Would it be okay? Would it be awkward? Would living here feel like old hat?? Then I got here and realized nothing every stays the same. Cliche', yes. True, yes. People change and believe it or not I've changed. Not that I don't love living here, but a move is a move and a transition is always tough. It grows you stretches you!
I've also thought a lot about the things I did or rather didn't do while living here in Bowling Green. I don't like to have regrets, but I think about so many people here that I could have been, should have been more involved in their lives. But to be honest, I was very selfish with my time. Driving around town the other day I passed by several Asian restaurants and thought, "why didn't I go talk to those people, share with them?" I did literally "laugh out loud" when I realized that before I didn't even know their language or have any idea of culture!! So of course I wouldn't have thought to go visit them. Still, I took for granted that my job was all I needed to do. I worked at a church after all, I served....and I did, but I was unwilling to do anything sacrificial or give up anything for that matter.
So I don't say all this to simply have regrets or wish my life away. Its kind of a confession of my selfishness and a prayer to live my life better. Not a "best life now" better but a truly serving and loving others better. Not just working in a church but ministering to others. Living each day with more than just a job, but a passion for people. And, even a passion for other cultures that I may or may not speak their language. It doesn't really matter when Father is involved. And, as a good friend told me not to long ago, its not so much about where you are as it is about what you are doing while you are there.
My prayer above all of this...is that I never again become comfortable no matter where I am. Whew, thats a scary prayer. Here's the deal. If I become comfortable I am no longer being dependent on God. If I become complacent I will no longer seek Him and continue to grow. If I settled and put down roots, then I begin to build up treasure here and I know myself well enough to know I'll start to look internally and not focus on the world around me. If I become comfortable, then this world will begin to seem like my home and I'll never long for my real home. Scary prayer? Yes. But I won't have it any other way.
A post-Thanksgiving moment of thanks for my uncomfortable life!
Beautiful Feet
As in true vagabond fashion, these beautiful feet have transitioned again. Back to Bowling Green! I lived in BG for almost two years before moving overseas and have finally returned. I thought long and hard about circling back around. Same place, same people, same church...on and on I could go. Would it be okay? Would it be awkward? Would living here feel like old hat?? Then I got here and realized nothing every stays the same. Cliche', yes. True, yes. People change and believe it or not I've changed. Not that I don't love living here, but a move is a move and a transition is always tough. It grows you stretches you!
I've also thought a lot about the things I did or rather didn't do while living here in Bowling Green. I don't like to have regrets, but I think about so many people here that I could have been, should have been more involved in their lives. But to be honest, I was very selfish with my time. Driving around town the other day I passed by several Asian restaurants and thought, "why didn't I go talk to those people, share with them?" I did literally "laugh out loud" when I realized that before I didn't even know their language or have any idea of culture!! So of course I wouldn't have thought to go visit them. Still, I took for granted that my job was all I needed to do. I worked at a church after all, I served....and I did, but I was unwilling to do anything sacrificial or give up anything for that matter.
So I don't say all this to simply have regrets or wish my life away. Its kind of a confession of my selfishness and a prayer to live my life better. Not a "best life now" better but a truly serving and loving others better. Not just working in a church but ministering to others. Living each day with more than just a job, but a passion for people. And, even a passion for other cultures that I may or may not speak their language. It doesn't really matter when Father is involved. And, as a good friend told me not to long ago, its not so much about where you are as it is about what you are doing while you are there.
My prayer above all of this...is that I never again become comfortable no matter where I am. Whew, thats a scary prayer. Here's the deal. If I become comfortable I am no longer being dependent on God. If I become complacent I will no longer seek Him and continue to grow. If I settled and put down roots, then I begin to build up treasure here and I know myself well enough to know I'll start to look internally and not focus on the world around me. If I become comfortable, then this world will begin to seem like my home and I'll never long for my real home. Scary prayer? Yes. But I won't have it any other way.
A post-Thanksgiving moment of thanks for my uncomfortable life!
Beautiful Feet
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